The Comical Lessons Of RP

A few years back I was shopping at a store called Forever 21 with a couple of friends. Normally, I would follow them around the store, and if I saw something that caught my eye I would stop and look at it (I don’t lead the “Oh let’s go look at this” parade, as there are too many things I could run into, and honestly I don’t feel like picking up mannequin body parts at every store I go to…) ANYWAYS. One of my friends had to go use the lady’s room, and the other got side tracked… so I decided to venture off on my own. Taking my time, and trying not to bump into anything or anyone, I looked at all the fashion forward products I loved so dearly. I was doing great at shopping by myself, and thought “Hey! I can do this... and I’m actually having a decent time!” As I continued my independent adventure, a pair of AMAZING sandals caught my eye half way across the store… “Oh what the hell, I’ll just go for it!” I began my voyage of crossing the incredibly busy store, checking both ways constantly to make sure I wouldn’t run into anyone. I was almost there! 20 feet, 15 feet, 10 feet, 5 feet, “Oh my god, I am SO buying those!”, WHAM!!! I stared at the cold hard (but incredibly clean and white) floor wondering what on earth just happened. The path was clear?! What or who did I miss?! The ENTIRE store gasped (and btw, I couldn’t make this shit up.) “OH MY GOD ARE YOU OK MA’AM ?! I looked up to see a cashier running over to me, and EVERYONE staring at me. I replied “Yep, totally fine. Just wanted to check out those shoes … Thanks!” As I got my stiff and extremely sore body up, I turned around to see what I had tripped over. Any guesses? Carpet? A small child? My own feet? Nope. A small itty bitty little TINY clothing table about eh, maybe 2 feet off the ground that had nice folded pants on it… SERIOUSLY. When I had been walking to my dream shoes, I was so focused on not running into people or REAL sized tables, that I somehow forgot to look for the mini ones as well, and went FLYING (not being dramatic, I promise) over the top of the mini table, belly flopping (again not being dramatic) onto the cold hard ground IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!!!!! Was I embarrassed? You have no idea. But I did learn some extremely important lessons that day… 1) Using a cane would have saved me from that embarrassment altogether, 2) If I can get through something as embarrassing as that, I can get through anything, and 3) ALWAYS have some extra Advil in your purse… Sure, I may have been the topic at quite a few dinner tables that night… but as I look back at it now I can’t stop laughing. As annoying as having RP is, it sure gives us some hilarious stories to tell 😉

(Picture is of me making a "Yeah.. that was embarrassing" face.)